Welcome Back To Mental Matters Monday
I took a break.
I took a break because I was angry.
I was angry with the lack of discipline I had over my creative freeness.
I was angry with the lack of recognition of things I had already done.
I was angry with being in my husbands shadow.
I was angry with the imbalance in my life.
I was angry with myself for letting my solitarily plagued thinking, isolate me from spending time with friends.
I was angry at my lack of ability to connect with my family.
I was angry with the severely underpaid job I was working.
I was angry.
I cried.
I drank more then usual.
I spent money I didn’t have.
I spent time in places I normally would be uncomfortable in.
I just wanted to feel something new.
I wanted to feel something other than resentment towards the future self I couldn’t grasp.
I wanted to feel something other than the complacency I let my day to day consume.
I wanted to feel.
New.
I wanted to know why I felt the way I did.
I wanted to know....
Why there was such a strong disappointment in myself.
I cooked.
I cleaned.
I fought.
I lost.
I won.
I panicked.
Everything I worked so hard to relieve myself from, seeped back into my body as if I was breathing it in.
Slowly acquiring my thoughts and turned my disappointment into anger.
I took a week off work.
I prayed.
I read.
I danced.
I exercised.
I painted.
I bought plants.
I listened to music.
I visited friends and family.
I sat silently and watched the winds swiftly move through the leaves of the tree outside my window.
I started to find my way back. But I wasn’t entirely sure what I was finding my way back to.
New ideas began to rush into me. I wanted to excute them all.
So I began working, and I’m very excited about all of the new content I have to share with you all.
Welcome Back to Mental Matters Monday.
p.s. I’m still a little angry.
p.p.s.
I'm raising money to help fund my children's book series and start a kids painting party business! Check out the link below to read more and donate if you can! Thanks!
