The Birth of Finding Your Happy Place

I met Worry. She was very timid. She didn't like the attention I was giving her, so she told me she wanted me to meet someone. She took me to meet Anxiety. Anxiety seemed okay. She seemed like a perfectionist, and I saw no harm in that. Worry said leave me be, Anxiety will take care of your troubles. And Anxiety did just that. Anxiety gave me uncontrollable amounts of energy. I twitched. I bite my nails. I paced. All because Anxiety gave me so much to think about. I shook. I trembled. Anxiety said since I loved her so much, she'd love for me to meet Paranoia.

Anxiety took me to Paranoia. Paranoia quickly took my hand and said there is much for us to do. Paranoia allowed me to hear all the voices in my head. The voices of regret and shame, of goals and dreams. My eyes constantly shifted and I paced even more than before. Paranoia told me that there would be people that would call me crazy, but I should ignore them. I spoke to Paranoia often, mostly aloud. People thought I was talking to myself, but it was the in depth conversations I was having with Paranoia. After a while I became tired of pacing. I didn't want to speak anymore. I didn't want to talk to any of the voices. I just wanted to be left alone. Paranoia noticed my change of heart and said she wanted me to meet someone. Paranoia took me to meet Sadness.

Sadness and I had so much in common. We didn't feel like talking much, but we did enjoy each other's company. We both cried. And shivered. And quaked. But soon I began to cry more often, and I didn't want sadness around. I didn't want anyone around. I didn't want to eat. Drink. Or move at all. Sadness said that she knew the perfect place to take me. Sadness took me to a lonely place, she said Depression lives here, you should meet her.

I knocked on Depression's door. No one answered. The door was unlocked. I walked into a silent room. Depression sat in a corner and stared out of the window. I sat beside Depression and sighed. Depression reminded me of all the awful things that had happened to me, and all the terrible things that I've done. Depression made me feel numb. I sat. And sat. And sat, until eventually, I didn't want to sit anymore. I told Depression that I am tired of feeling numb, and that I don't want to feel anything anymore. Depression said that there is someone I can meet at the edge of a cliff. I left Depression where she sat, and made my way towards the cliff. As I peaked the edge, a voice from down below shouted, "Don't worry! My name is Suicide and I'll catch you!"

I closed my eyes and relaxed, I leaned forward only to have my armed yanked backwards. I turned to see who had stopped my fall, and saw someone with both fear and desire in their eyes. She said my name is Mercy and I have been looking for you. She said she knows things have been hard and giving up may seem easy, but Mercy assured me that there are others who still need to meet me. Mercy took my hand and pulled me to my feet, and said I want you to meet someone. Mercy took me to meet Grace, and she was beautiful and kind. She showed me things that I should be thankful for, and she reminded me of my friends and family. Grace told me before I could speak to my friends and family again, I needed to meet someone. Grace took me to meet Forgiveness.

Forgiveness was firm yet polite. Welcoming yet distant. Forgiveness reminded me that I am never alone. She told me that being a victim doesn't mean I'm not a survivor. Forgiveness taught me how to let go of memories that troubled me, things that taunt me, and people that hurt me. I enjoyed my time with Forgiveness. Forgiveness said she enjoyed me too, but she wanted me to meet someone. Forgiveness took me to meet Love. Love greeted me with open arms. Love was gentle and warm. Love showed me how Grace, Mercy, and Forgiveness worked in my life. I was grateful for my time spent with Love. Love told me that she will forever be in my heart, but there was someone she wanted me to meet. Love took me to meet Happiness.

Happiness was vibrant and had an inviting glow. Happiness said she's been waiting for me. I laughed and smiled and praised and shouted. Happiness taught me how to hear Love's voice and feel her touch. I asked Happiness why she didn't come for me when I felt so low? Happiness told me that Worry and her affiliates live in environments where she could not exist. Happiness told me that's why she sent Mercy after me. Happiness told me that Mercy was able to exist on many platforms, because she is able to see both sides of a situation. I thanked Happiness for everything she had done. Happiness showed me all of the places she exist, and I visited every place she existed. And I will continue to visit those places, every day that I live. 

-Ashley Mozingo